WHY THIS KOLAVERI...DI...? = WHY EXACTLY - IS REAL VIOLENCE GROWING IN OUR CHILDREN & YOUTH? = WHAT CAN WE DO PRACTICALLY...TO MAKE THEM GOOD CITIZENS?

WHY THIS

KOLAVERI...Di...?

The song has become popular for more than one reason. It means, why do you have this murderous instinct, my dear?

The context of this song is LOVE, and the song in total, is a English-Tamil combination of some beautiful, Sweet nothings.

But, leave that aside. The murderous instincts in our children and youth are of course really growing. That is the unnerving situation today.

The other day, a school boy in Tamilnadu stabbed and killed his school teacher.

In Delhi, small kids are being sexually exploited by their seniors and others in a children’s home – says a report.

Ragging is a common feature in many colleges – even after it has been banned. 

We do get periodic reports of serious cases – though less serious cases do not get reported.

We are becoming insensitive to violence. That is the impression we get  when we read all such juvenile and youth crime reports in New Papers.

So what should be done?

In some TV  Channels, it was being suggested that psychological counseling must be given to such children. Some say – counsel children on what is reality and what is fiction. Beyond this – no other suggestions could be seen at all.

But, why is such serious crime getting implanted in young brains? Finding the cause is important. If the cause is unknown, or, known and ignored, then, there is no hope of a remedy.

One cause arises in the Family. Perpetual feuds between mother and father and other elders is a cause for instigating violence on the part of Children too, who are watching them frequently. If Parents can’t adjust and live in peace and a loving atmosphere, children who see them quarrel frequently will grow in a Psychologically impaired way. This cannot be avoided.

Drunken husbands and nagging wives are a reality in many homes and are a big cause of unhappiness to themselves and to their children.

Add to them, nagging mothers-in-law, rebellious and non-adjusting daughters-in-law and others – the story grow thicker. These are all causes for families becoming nuclear families now. All of them need relationship education – not just counseling.

There is another paradox in India. Some families and some communities are – proud of being branded as violent families and violent communities! What do you do with them? There is no place for violence in a democracy. But, who understands that?

Being courageous is different from being violent. This needs to come from school education itself. The value of non-violence coupled with Courage and strength needs to be taught at school.

But, if school is a breeding ground for violence – then what? Some school authorities are averse to taking any action against Seniors indulging in violent ragging. The Law should become much stricter and much more effective on this aspect.

It was horrifying to see a video showing extreme violence by some college students , some time back  on a TV Channel.

Decades ago – Education used to signify culture.  Now, it no more signifies any thing of that sort. No morals, no values, no ideals, nothing seems to be taught in schools and colleges – to make them  GOOD CITIZENS. Schools and Colleges must teach these – else, the Education without values – is totally valueless.

We are tinkering with education, debating insignificant questions like – whether marks are better or Grades are better etc – totally ignoring the basic purpose of education for the country.

The profession of Teachers must be placed on a higher pedestal than other professions. Teachers must be chosen for their values – apart from their education. In any case, they must be models of GOOD CONDUCT.

In some schools in the south, some teachers used to call their students as DOGS! Then, the practice picked up among students – who started calling each other as DOGs. Then, they started calling their teachers as DOGS in their private conversations. Sometime later, all of them were insensitive to the indecency of all this. Whom to blame? Where to stem the rot?

When a Teacher punishes a student, he / she must know the limit –and the stick must be reformative and not retributive. A teacher must LOVE – even when punishing. If this attitude is there – I fully support the old adage – spare the rod and spoil the child. If this attitude is missing in the teacher, the rod certainly becomes a weapon of violence.

Teacher has every right to tell the Parent about the performance of the Child – and the Parent must respond to it positively – by discussing with the child and ensuring their reasonable progress. This right must be available to teachers.

But then, everybody, especially the Parents, must ensure that the child takes it in the right spirit. The teacher must also write – in the right spirit. The motivation of the teacher must always be kept high.

I do not agree with Psychologists that an external psychologist must do counseling for parents and students – and possibly for teachers.

A good Teacher – is the best psychologist there is – for the student. The teacher knows, and must know,  the strengths and weaknesses of the student. He or she must provide all possible motivation to the students to perform well.

But all said – as a society, we must always understand that in any class, of say, 30 students, someone will be at number one and someone will be at number thirty and others in-between. This will be so whether you are in a village school or a premier school in a city.

This reality must always be accepted by the teachers, the parents and the  students. Our combined attempt has to be – to raise each student level, to the best of HIS ABILITY – and not competing with the number one or two.

Promoting friendship among students must be a conscious activity of the schools and colleges. The number one and number thirty must be friends – marks being immaterial. The spirit of friendship should not be compromised by difference in Marks. Education has to aim at such ethics. Else, it is no education at all.

Progress and Excellence must be the goal posts – not competition.

The next cause for violence – but by far, the most obnoxious cause, in my opinion -  is the beaming of violent scenes of movies, TV serials in every TV channel, night and day, all the time.

Violence and Obscenity are becoming an addiction for the masses – for this one reason. People are becoming insensitive to violence and obscenity – and crave for more and more bizarre varieties of them.

This trend must stop. It is frivolous to argue that there is no  proof for the violence outside being inspired by violence in movies. There is TOO MUCH violence in our movies and that is bad in itself. Worse is the FACT that it is now the HERO who indulges in most of the violence, in most of the movies.

People tend to ape the Hero. Let there be no doubt about it. Everybody does it at least in his imagination. When someone gets a chance, they do in reality too.

We do not find a Hero reading, or researching, or being honest in passing exams. This is very rare. But, he is adept in fighting scores of people – even hundreds of people and killing them in the cruelest way. That’s heroism.

Unless this sort of cruel Heroism stops – violence in society is bound to grow. Violence among children especially will grow faster.

*  *  *  E  N  D  *  *  *

The other day, a school boy in Tamilnadu stabbed and killed his school teacher.

In Delhi, small kids are being sexually exploited by their seniors and others in a children’s home – says a report.

Ragging is a common feature in many colleges – even after it has been banned. We do get periodic reports of serious cases – though less serious cases do not get reported.

We are becoming insensitive to violence. That is the impression we get  when we read all such juvenile and youth crime reports in New Papers.

So what should be done?

In some TV  Channels, it was being suggested that psychological counseling must be given to such children. Some say – counsel children on what is reality and what is fiction. Beyond this – no other suggestions could be seen at all.

But, why is such serious crime getting implanted in young brains? Finding the cause is important. If the cause is unknown, or, known and ignored, then, there is no hope of a remedy.

One cause arises in the Family. Perpetual feuds between mother and father and other elders is a cause for instigating violence on the part of Children too, who are watching them frequently. If Parents can’t adjust and live in peace and a loving atmosphere, children who see them quarrel frequently will grow in a Psychologically impaired way. This cannot be avoided.

Drunken husbands and nagging wives are a reality in many homes and are a big cause of unhappiness to themselves and to their children.

Add to them, nagging mothers-in-law, rebellious and non-adjusting daughters-in-law and others – the story grow thicker. These are all causes for families becoming nuclear families now. All of them need relationship education – not just counseling.

There is another paradox in India. Some families and some communities are – proud of being branded as violent families and violent communities! What do you do with them? There is no place for violence in a democracy. But, who understands that?

Being courageous is different from being violent. This needs to come from school education itself. The value of non-violence coupled with Courage and strength needs to be taught at school.

But, if school is a breeding ground for violence – then what? Some school authorities are averse to taking any action against Seniors indulging in violent ragging. The Law should become much stricter and much more effective on this aspect.

It was horrifying to see a video showing extreme violence by some college students , some time back  on a TV Channel.

Decades ago – Education used to signify culture.  Now, it no more signifies any thing. No morals, no values, no ideals, nothing seems to be taught in schools and colleges – to make them  GOOD CITIZENS. Schools and Colleges must teach these – else, the Education without values – is totally valueless.

We are tinkering with education, debating insignificant questions like – whether marks are better or Grades are better etc – totally ignoring the basic purpose of education for the country.

The profession of Teachers must be placed on a higher pedestal than other professions. Teachers must be chosen for their values also – apart from their education. In any case, they must be models of GOOD CONDUCT.

In some schools in the south, teachers used to call students as DOGS! Then, it picked up among students – who started calling each other as DOG. Then, they started calling their teachers as DOGS in their private conversations. Sometime later, all of them were insensitive to the indecency of all this. Whom to blame? Where to stem the rot?

When a Teacher punishes a student, he / she must know the limit –and the stick must be reformative and not retributive. A teacher must LOVE – even when punishing. If this attitude is there – I fully support the old adage – spare the rod and spoil the child. If this attitude is missing in the teacher, the rod certainly becomes a weapon of violence.

Teacher has every right to tell the Parent about the performance of the Child – and the Parent must respond to it positively – by discussing with the child and ensuring their reasonable progress. This right must be available to teachers.

But then, everybody, especially the Parents, must ensure that the child takes it in the right spirit. The teacher must also write – in the right spirit. The motivation of the teacher must always be kept high.

I do not agree with Psychologists that an external psychologist must do counseling for parents and students – and possibly for teachers.

A good Teacher – is the best psychologist there is – for the student. The teacher knows, and must know,  the strengths and weaknesses of the student. He or she must provide all possible motivation to the students to perform well.

But all said – as a society, we must always understand that in any class, of say, 30 students, someone will be at number one and someone will be at number thirty and others in-between. This will be so whether you are in a village school or a premier school in a city.

This reality must always be accepted by the teachers, the parents and the  students. Our combined attempt has to be – to raise each student level, to the best of HIS ABILITY – and not competing with the number one or two.

Promoting friendship among students must be a conscious activity of the schools and colleges. The number one and number thirty must be friends – marks being immaterial. The spirit of friendship should not be compromised by difference in Marks. Education has to aim at such ethics. Else, it is no education at all.

Progress and Excellence must be the goal posts – not competition.

The next cause for violence – but by far, the most obnoxious cause, in my opinion -  is the beaming of violent scenes of movies, TV serials in every TV channel, night and day, all the time.

Violence and Obscenity are becoming an addiction for the masses – for this one reason. People are becoming insensitive to violence and obscenity – and crave for more and more bizarre varieties of them.

This trend must stop. It is frivolous to argue that there is no  proof for the violence outside being inspired by violence in movies. There is TOO MUCH violence in our movies and that is bad in itself. Worse is the FACT that it is now the HERO who indulges in most of the violence, in most of the movies.

People tend to ape the Hero. Let there be no doubt about it. Everybody does it at least in his imagination. When someone gets a chance, they do in reality too.

We do not find a Hero reading, or researching, or being honest in passing exams. This is very rare. But, he is adept in fighting scores of people – even hundreds of people and killing them in the cruelest way. That’s heroism.

Unless this sort of cruel Heroism stops – violence in society is bound to grow. Violence among children especially will grow faster.

*  *  *  E  N  D  *  *  *

HEALTHY MALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS (VS) PORNOGRAPHY = WHY NOT & WHY =

HEALTHY MALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS

VS

PORNOGRAPHY

WHY NOT & WHY

Can you watch Porn  on your phone when you are a Minister inside an Assembly? Or in a Parliament?

Or say, inside a Church, when the priest is reciting from the Bible? Or in a temple, before the Devi’s Idol? Or inside a Mosque(well, we are in a very sensitive area now)?

If people above the age of 18 all know what is good for them and what is good for the Society – the Ministers who watched Porn on their phones, which was their private purpose, when there was discussion on other things going on in the assembly, which was a public purpose – knew what they were doing, and they should not be penalized for doing what they thought was good (no, they thought it was better actually) for them at that time.

I heard precisely this, that people above 18 should not be restricted from PORN; they should be allowed to choose what they like; what they feel good. They are RESPONSIBLE! Society should not fetter them!

If all people above 18 are responsible for whatever they do – why not allow all of our MPs and MLAs and Ministers (at least them) FELL FREEDOM to do what they want to do at any and every time and place?

Give them TOTAL UNFETTERED, UNRESTRICTED FREEDOM inside assemblies and Parliament – and let us see what some of them will do. I don’t mean anything ill about them. They are human too.

If all people above 18 are all fully responsible; if they know what is good and what is bad for them and for the Society – Why have any Law at all?

This is evidently a bad argument. This is a Justification – especially for doing BAD THINGS.

Laws are made to protect each of us from each other of us. Laws are made to protect each of our freedom from interference by each other of us.

If laws are not there, we will interfere with other’s rights and freedoms every minute.

PORNOGRAPHY  IS BAD – for the Individual and the Society in many ways.

PORNOGRAPHY - makes a married man want to go for sex with every one other than his legally wedded wife.

PORNOGRAPHY, in fact, makes a man progressively incompetent to perform satisfactory sex with his wife (especially). He will most certainly ignore his wife – with whom, he must have his sex fulfilled in a legal, socially accepted way. 

Every wife should oppose PORN  for this one single reason.

Suppose the wife loves PORN  too – then what? She will most certainly be thinking of the PORN, even while the husband and wife are in the sex Act – and making unfavourable comparisons with other men she has seen in the PORN Act.

In the event, the man and wife will never be able to enjoy the real sex act between them for life. The PORN will remain an addiction, but never a satisfying one. The real sex will lose all its appeal. That is the danger in PORN.

PORNOGRAPHY  is sex  between other live  human beings. It must be private between them. It must not be public. SEX among human beings is not, and must not be a public affair, or, a public entertainment.

In India, Sex is considered a science. It is also considered sacred. No one wants to watch or disturb two people in Sex. It is immoral. If somebody does that – he is immoral. Reason is – next, he would want to do sex with that woman himself – if there is the slightest opportunity. The urge arises in him. That’s why. No one should interfere with this sexual joy of two people – and reduce their joy by watching. No one should.

What about Ajanta, Ellora, Khajuraho, and other temple paintings? Are we not a society with public exhibitionism of SEX? Absolutely Not. Ajanta, Ellora and Khajuraho were all carved in almost lonely places. They  are not frequented by all people, especially children at any time in the ancient Past – especially without their Elders. Go to any temple anywhere and see, how many people are sitting and gazing at the sex poses of the statues there. Almost none. A Casual Gaze. That’s all. People walk into the sanctum sanctorum, to see the Deity. 

India is famous for its FEMALE DEITIES. India is one culture which says – the highest Sakthi is Female energy. This Female energy has given rise to the Universe. Every prayer and stotram, by the Great Adi Sankaracharya describes and eulogizes every Part of the Deity’s anatomy, but with equal respect – and you must bow down your head not just before the statue, but before the divine Sakthi it personifies. Not understanding the deification of both male and female anatomy – but debasing it to the level of PORN is a sick mind’s job.

Some will say – you are talking about Victorian morals. Come on – world has moved on a lot. This is another absolutely illogical argument. We have moved on to Global warming. Why not live with it? We have moved on to perpetual warring between two world cultures. Why not continue it? We have moved on to Marijuana and many other drugs. Why not live with them? We have moved on to over 50% rate of divorce in many countries. Why not make it hundred percent and live with it?

This argument that we must accept and live with whatever changes are happening (because of our foolishness) is a illogical argument. Your telephone may be good. Your Blood Pressure is not. Your Car may be good. Your diabetes is not.

Your ability to travel to another continent in a few hours is good. Your inability to adjust with your spouse in your own home is not.

Faithfulness in marital relationships is even now GOOD – and considered so, even by those who do not adhere to it. I want my wife / husband to be faithful to me. Absolutely. So, do you. But, we must remain faithful too. PORN is a direct invitation to be UNFAITHFUL.

Whoever says PORN is good – must first have absolutely healthy relationship with his wife (it is male obsession mostly) and then both of them together should say – yes, it is good for both of us; we must have the freedom to watch PORN.

PORN definitely reduces the sexual interest of the husband in the wife, and his sexual Potency towards his wife. Therefore it is BAD.

Then, there is the argument, that youth must be educated in SEX. Is sex such a rocket science that we must all learn it by seeing others perform it? This is another absolutely insane argument that I have ever heard! The Dog does it without any education. The ant does it. Every Insect with almost NO HEAD, does it very well. If we want to educate youth – don’t show them PORN – give them an illustrated copy of Kamasutra a month before marriage. That will do, if at all. Even that is not needed. If they love each other, they will enjoy sex between them. If they don’t, years of sex education and PORN will only spoil their head – and make them totally unfit for marriage.

What is needed is LOVE – heart to heart – Not porn, not sex education. Nothing will be lost, if a man or woman does not know a small detail here and there. The so called KNOWERS-OF-ALL can never really love and enjoy healthy sex.

The next argument is – it is any way available on the Internet; how can you prevent it? If you cannot prevent it from being on the net, there is no problem; but, do not promote it actively. That’s the point. Don’t say, it is good.

Simply because Americans have over 50% rate of Divorce, don’t say – it is good. If they have a lot of PORN, which may be the basic cause for marital maladjustments, don’t say, PORN is GOOD TOO, because westerners have it.

We are Globalizing any way. How can you prevent it? This is another argument. We are not globalizing their Cold climates. We are not globalizing their frozen / negative population growth rates. We have not yet globalized the Gay / lesbian cultures to their extent – which are an inevitable off-shoot of PORNOGRAPHY.

How can you differentiate PORNOGRAPHY from sexy dances, costumes etc – which are just as arousing? Yes. These too are bad. So, somewhere down in the minds, the people with this argument do know that sexual arousal from such things is not all that Good.

In any facet of life, there is always one extreme versus another extreme. There is also the healthy mid-path. India always stresses adherence to this mid-path.  

In other cultures, either the woman is covered TOTALLY  from head to foot; or, she is allowed to bare herself totally in public places also. In between is the healthy mid-path. Woman is beautiful. If she dresses beautifully, in a dignified way. Yes. She is beautiful in man’s eyes, that is. A lion or bull may not find the human female that alluring. It is the hormones in us that do the trick. The attraction arises on Puberty. It can stay long, if we retain a healthy attitude to marital, legal sex. It needs support of LOVE, not aphrodisiacs; not PORN.

But, if a woman dresses to attract male’s sexual interest – she can’t claim RESPECT. She will get what she dresses for and seeks.

In summary –

PORN is bad because, man loses interest in his wife.

PORN is bad, because, woman loses interest in her husband.

Now –if you still want,  Go ahead and legalize PORN. It may well solve the POPULATION EXPLOSION PROBLEM in India very quickly.

 *  *  *  e  n  d   *  *  *