Friday, July 12, 2013




Does any Elephant know that we have given the name, elephant to it and therefore, it is properly an elephant? Not by any chance. Does it care what you or I call it? Not in the least. Of course, a pet dog or cat may respond to a name that we give it. It does not mean that it attaches any great significance to it. It only gets confused if 2 or 3 pet dogs in the house are given the same name. Barring that, even if you call it a mouse or ant, it doesn’t care. It responds to this name with a single sound in its language. Dogs, cats, crows etc, usually have just one word in their languages. For all needs, they have to depend on body language. A dog’s bark or a lion’s roar doesn’t tell you whether it wants to eat you or whether it loves you. They have to use a lot of body language to tell that.

Naming is the game that we humans play. We have hundreds of languages and in each language, everything is called by a different name. Which means, elephant is not an elephant in hundreds of other languages. This name has no meaning or significance in those foreign tongues. Yet, naming has a certain use and utility for people speaking the same language.

For instance, calling a man a man is useful. It differentiates him from a woman. Calling a woman a woman likewise is useful and utilitarian. We begin to understand the man and woman a lot better by this categorization and naming.

We know that we are not responsible for making men and women, though we go into acts that seem to make the Next Gen. It just happens. Not that, it happens only because of us.

Men and women are rational. And emotional. And when emotional, we are a lot irrational. Whoever made us, made us that way. When men and women turn emotional in a certain rational or irrational way, we tend to reproduce our next Gen. Man plus woman plus the Next Gen produced by them is called  family. We have called them so. Man plus woman must take care of the next Gen so that the Human Race goes on forever on the earth. That has been the unwritten understanding of the human race – until recently. This is the unwritten understanding among all animals, birds, reptiles, insects and so on – even now.

What happens when men like men only and not women to satisfy their emotional needs? Likewise what happens when women like women only and not men – for their emotional needs? Well. There will be no Next Gen!

How does it affect the earth and the Universe? No effect. The earth goes on happily – as always. It is just that there will be no bombs. There will be no one to go from earth to Moon or Mars. There will be no human race. No religions. No castes. No races. No villages, No cities, No civilizations. No uncivilized people hating or killing others for reasons such as caste, colour, language, religion and so on. No singing, No dancing, No airplanes, trains, cars. No air-conditioning. No restaurants. The world will go on. The dogs will still be there. The lions and elephants will still be there. Nobody will miss us. We are useless for almost every living being on earth, though, they are useful to us.

This, however is not the point to ponder. The point is this. Men are beginning to like men only – and not women. Women are beginning to like women only and not men. They say, they are made that way. As of now, this phenomenon is a trickle. But, it promises to become a storm, a tsunami, a huge flood. They say, no one has the right to object when two men decide to live together and indulge in what they call love and sex. Or, if two women decide to live together and decide to indulge in what they call love and sex. It may be that there is NO NEXT GEN. Clearly there is no possibility of NEXT GEN, when this phenomenon becomes a flood.

Many Societies are calling this union of men with men and women with women as MARRIAGE! They  live together with full “marital rights,” whatever these rights are. More and more men are disillusioned with the opposite sex and are falling head over heels (or whatever) for this same sex “Marriage”.  Ditto with women.  They are also disillusioned with the opposite sex and are opting for Same Sex “marriage”. We are yet to understand their compulsions, or their obsessions. Neither do they.

Are we, the others, able to understand the compulsion of liking the opposite sex and falling head over heels to marry them and have what we call as sex – so that – we reproduce the likes of us – the next Gen? No. we also don’t understand the hormonal changes, their effects, why they come when they do, why they go when they go, and so on.

People like Socrates have warned – Get married, either you will become disillusioned or illusioned. Marriage between man and woman is not a bed of roses either. If they are, they do come with thorns.

For thousands and thousands of years, marriage has been defined as the union between a man and woman, especially for the purpose of sexual relations and procreation.

Even if sexual relations and procreation are not there, yet, the union between a man and woman is stilled named as marriage, because it grants the couple the “rights” for sexual relations and procreation and is recognized by the society as such.

Marriage is for orderly sex and orderly procreation – so that, there are no quarrels, battles and wars for sex. Woman, especially the woman, is granted a safe and respectable place, in the society, and she enjoys safety, respect, protection and support of the society in the institution of marriage. Likewise, every man, however weak he may be, enjoys the protection of the society in making his marital life safe, and protected – from the onslaughts of the stronger men in the society. These are the basic building blocks of the institution of the marriage – in every human society. Whether the man and woman will be happy or not – depend a lot on them – understanding or misunderstanding each other. Marital happiness depends on many such factors.

The definition of marriage also implies the definitions of man’s and woman’s sexual organs, their purpose in marriage, the process of procreation and the very purpose of marriage. This is thus, almost a water-tight definition.

For long, we have seen quotes like “marriages are made in heaven.” Whether they are made in heaven or not – they are purposeful for the long term continuation of the human society.

All societies have built up  procedures and formalities, before a  union of a man and woman is recognized as marriage.

If a man and a woman have sex and procreate, then also, it is not a marriage unless society recognizes the relationship as marriage, keeping in view the social purpose.

Marital relations are differentiated from extra-marital and pre-marital relationships between man and woman. There has never, ever been any doubt in this respect for all these, for  thousands of years.

Now, the LIVING TOGETHER of GAYS does not satisfy any of these criteria. Nor does the living together of Lesbians. So, where is the justification for dubbing these relations also as “marriage”. We can call it by any other name – but why should we call it by the name of marriage. Do we call a Potato a tomato? Do we call a sparrow a crow? Should we? Just because two things are eatables, or two things are birds, we don’t call them by the same name. It confuses. More importantly, the purpose of naming is lost.

If a boy and girl in their early or late teens indulge in sex, at school, or in dating, we are not calling even that as marriage, even if it results in procreation.

Marriage needs social recognition and must serve the long term Social purpose. It must result in or at least oriented towards furthering the human race into future generations.

It must fulfill certain criteria recognized as “marital relations”, “marital promises” and so on. Any other relationship  not satisfying these criteria must not be called “marriage”.

If 2 GAYs live together, or if 2 lesbians live together, this main purpose of marriage, namely, furthering of human race in to future generations – is just not served. In fact, if everyone falls for these relationships – human race ends with this generation itself. The dwindling attraction between man and woman is perhaps, mostly due to overexposure to sex and nudity – and this is perhaps the main cause for these Gay and Lesbian types of relationships. Or, perhaps, nature has some unique plan of its own in ushering in these relationships – to reduce population or some other such purpose of its own. We never understand Nature’s designs fully.

But, society can always give it any other name, but not marriage.  Let us coin new names for the purpose.  But, calling  these relationships as marriage seems meaningless and this infuses a whole lot of avoidable confusion into the society and social relationships immensely. The similarities are too less and differences are too many to permit them to be called as marriage. The implied confusions in these relationships are – a man calling him-self a wife, and, a woman calling herself a husband! Do we need this confusion?

Whether these phenomena are normal or not is not for us to say. These phenomena are there. They need a name. That is the only problem. That is not a problem if we give these relationships a name different from “marriage”.
The point is – not finding fault with or ridiculing any relationship. It is perhaps  Individual liberty, what they do in private, with mutual consent. The only aspect to high light here is, we must not call these relationships by the name “marriage”. Coin new Names. Call them anything else.

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