CONSENSUAL SEX - AT AGE 16 - PROGRESSION, DIGRESSION OR RETROGRESSION?

CONSENSUAL SEX AT AGE 16

PROGRESSION, DIGRESSION OR RETROGRESSION?

No one can alter a Huge flood’s course. No one can stop a Psunami. No one can stop a meteor falling on the earth.  It is so with many cultural changes that are taking place in India and elsewhere. Once we have said that, it is progress if we do whatever America does, then, this sort of cultural sweeps are bound to come in, in the garb of laws to ostensibly protect the Girl Child’s rights.

Now, Government wants to make it a law stating that consensual Sex shall be permissible at age 16. Is it only for Girls, or is it for both Boys and Girls? It seems to be a reasonable presumption that Boys also will enjoy the same privilege under the new dispensation.

No one can of course command that, you MUST have consensual sex from age 16. There are no such compulsions humanly feasible. But, YOU CAN have consensual sex, from age 16. This is the next best thing possible under law.

Look at the TV debates on this specific topic. Everybody assumes that this right is given only for the Girl. By the way, at 16, is she a child, a girl or a  woman? God Only knows. Perhaps, even he doesn’t.

The Boy also gets the same right for consensual sex at age 16! Otherwise, with whom else is the Girl going in for a consensual sex? Actually, technically, or, biologically, sex happens at the physical initiation of a BOY only, and technically, the Girl only has to consent – or, not consent.

Can the Boy consent? My foot, he cannot but. Once under a sex impulse, it is very difficult for him to control the sex urge once it arises in him. He has very less power to control it – what to talk of consenting?  He is a victim. He needs an outlet – some outlet. Sex Education is not an outlet by itself. It is a Dam with all gates open. In western countries, most boys get sex when they want it. It is a bit free – almost available on demand. They don’t need to care much about consensual sex  etc. The Girl gets laughed at, if she doesn’t go for dating at all. So, she goes.

Girls also, have as much sex need as boys, once aroused. But, the difference is, they cannot initiate a sex action on a disinterested Boy or man. A Girl or a woman need only consent to have sex – with an interested man or Boy. If this basic difference is forgotten, nothing else  makes sense.

Having consented, she can sleep or eat or talk, or, do whatever she can do, while task is on. If not consented, she has many other options.

Sex is one of the most beautiful boons that the creator has given to human beings – and all other beings, for that matter. But, Indians, especially, have made sex into a great science and an ART. No one else on earth ever thought of or made SEX into such a beautiful art and science. What is the consent for SEX? It is nothing other than marriage. Marriage is consent for sex. Any other consent for sex beyond marital bounds is stupidity and immorality .

Now, we find our law makers reducing the whole gamut of sex into an ugly extra-marital affair, which, by its necessary effect and consequence reduces the marital affair into a non-event and a hugely tasteless, dirty, drab, quarrelsome event. Every extra marital affair before or after marriage, reduces marriage into non-sense. Most divorces on either side is happening because of this one reason, be it in US or in India.

And now, we want to legalize extra-marital and pre-marital sex from age 16. But, marriage still has to wait until 18 for Girls and 21 for Boys !

It is there in the western countries. So, what has happened there? There is now a huge problem of unwed Girl-mothers at ages 13 to 16 in very large numbers. And, many of them do not know the father !

Is it consensual sex or permissive sex that we are ushering in? In my opinion,  it is permissive sex. In west, it started with this only. Now, unwed mothers are very large in number. How will they bring up their children, when they are themselves almost children? By the time, they become mature enough to marry – many of them have lost all taste for sex and marriage with the Opposite sex. So, now, they want sex with same sex. GAYism and Lesbianism is increasing in alarming proportions – and in my view, it is mainly because of the permissive sex with too many people when at school and college. So, marriage with the opposite sex and sex with opposite sex are coming down drastically. Science might tell them this after it is too late. Bt, India can learn these lessons early.

But, we too are on the same path. Permit this consensual sex; it will become permissive sex. Then, there will be lesser and lesser charm  in marriage for both Boys or Girls. Then,  Gayism and Lesbianism will go up as in US – by leaps and bounds.

Let us admit one thing. Very frankly. This consensual or permissive sex, whatever we may call it – has nothing to do with LOVE. It is purely and sheerly the hormonal imbalance that is wrecking havoc on the children. It is much like smoking, drinking and drugs – and much worse than that.

Children cannot understand this easily. But, at least elders must be able to understand this.

It is a known fact that children in the age group of 15 to 18 do have hormonal floods in their system. But, that is the time, when elders must counsel them, advise them and turn their energies into healthier pursuits – and not into sexual pursuits with all and sundry.

Look at the sequence. First we had segregated education. Then, we wanted co-education. Then, we wanted sex education. Now, we want consensual sex.  But, who on earth is counseling them that, sex is much healthier within the precincts of marriage and not outside it?

In India, in earlier days, Boys had to practice Brahmacharya vrat until their education is completed totally. This enabled them to have reasonable and adequate control over their sex instincts. Therefore, Boys respected women of all ages much more than today. Man needs that self control. Even today, even in the context of co-education, the need is not sex education but, Brahma Charya until, one completes Education.

At the same time, we must recognize that at age 16, a man is ripe for sex. So is a woman. Why not get them married, instead of directly and indirectly goading them to have consensual, pre and extra-marital sex? Permit a healthy marriage at age 16 rather than at the artificial limits of 18 and 21.

Government and people are coming half  way to recognizing that a Girl must have the right for consensual sex at age 16. For the same reason, I say, let her also have the right of marriage at age 16. Let the consensual sex be with one man, within the bounds of marriage.

At least it will develop into a healthy, long term, loving relationship between one boy and one girl.

Now, some questions do arise in case of this law and they too need answer.

1.     With how many persons can a girl or boy have consensual sex in the course of a year? Unlimited?

2.     Can we tell the girls and boys – that they can have consensual sex with one boy or one girl only before their marriage?

3.     Can we tell the Boys and Girls that they should marry the same  person with whom they are going to have consensual sex?

4.     Or, are we going to give a go-by to all ethics, morals and decencies in the name of consensual sex?

5.     Can we tell the Boys and Girls both – that they can have consensual sex – only with a person of the OPPOSITE SEX – and that too, one not more than 10 years older to them in age? If the other person is older by 10 years or more, man or woman, it shall not be treated as consensual sex on the part of the boy or girl under 16. A Boy or Girl must not really have consensual sex with someone aged, more than, say, 30 years than them. Or, are we agreeing for that also?

6.     The case of the Boy and the Girl is JUST SLIGHTLY different from each other in sex. The BOY’s physical consent is a must for the sex act. The Girl’s consent is not a must. That is how, nature has made the two sexes – but, it is common for almost all living beings. But, the reality is – the BOY also has very little control on his sex urge – once it is aroused. A Girl’s proximity, here dress, her behavior and his own moods are all factors – that arouse the sex urge. A nude or semi nude scene or a sex scene on his TV is also a powerful mood arouser. Once aroused, most of the time, the boy is not within his own control. His mind does not listen to him anymore. This is a fact, we all know. He may either die, slit a throat  or pour a bottle of acid on his sex object. Anything may happen. Why don’t we understand this simple, common sense event that occurs all the time between Boys and Girls in India? You may laugh at the suggestion of Brahma charya Vrat for Boys. But, it will do a lot of Good for them, for their health and success in marital health. Ditto for girls. Will it a complete success? No. Not at all. It will not succeed totally. It never did, even in the ancient days. But, the very experiment with the vrat will do a lot of good for both boys and Girls.

7.     But, this is a deluge. That is sweeping India. I know, most won’t listen. But, it is time to say, what I have to say.

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